Memories are made of this

With my husband off travelling I’m staying at home to keep things ticking over here. One of the nice things about being at home is that I’ve been able to spend a bit of time with my 16-year-old son, Spencer. I felt quietly honoured when he suggested we watch a movie together on Saturday and we even managed to spend some time together on Sunday.

For years I was a single parent, so spending time with him took me back to times when it was just him and I. We cooked and watched our movie and it struck me how much he is growing up. The movie was 127 hours – The Danny Boyle film about the guy stuck in the cave whose only chance of survival is to cut off his arm. Perhaps not the best movie to choose when you’re having a TV dinner, but I noted with a smile that this didn’t seem to impact on my son’s appetite.

Apart from the movie being shockingly gory in bits it was also hugely thought-provoking. As a result of this I got a glimmer into the workings of my 16-year-old son’s head and heart. It turns out he is developing into rather a philosophical young man.

My son is a bit like me, he’s a talker. Never happier than when he’s nattering away and before long of course the conversation turned to “do you remember when mum”. He likes to reminisce. The memories that he often returns to are the funny things we have done together. Like the time when he was about 7. I had driven into the petrol station put petrol in the car and unusually I had just paid at the pump rather than going into the kiosk. Getting back into the car to drive away my son said, “Aren’t you going to pay for the petrol mum?”. I just could’t resist it and I said, “Och lets just drive off” and I did with my son looking horrified. I gave him just long enough before I told him I had paid at the pump and I was only kidding. He laughed uncontrollably all the way home in the way only a 7-year-old boy can. It was wicked I know but it was very funny.

Humour is a big part of our relationship. Being a single parent is tough and from experience I know that coping with your parents separating is tough for any kid, so ensuring that there was a much laughter as possible in the house was important. I know that Spencer and I are blessed that we are able to look back at those times with some fond memories.

The best by a long shot was when my son asked me if his Dad remarried would he have another mum and what would happen if she didn’t like him. I could feel my heart pounding and with all I could muster I calmly explained to my son that I was sure that if his Dad married again he would want them to be a special person and that special people are usually kind and nice. I told him that he was such a special boy that I could’t imagine his Dad’s new wife not liking him. My son seemed happy with this and I carried on with the cooking while he poured himself a drink. Standing there with milk around his top lip he looked up and said, “so really she wouldn’t be my mum then, because you’re the one true Mum”. My heart simply melted.

To this day he still calls me The One True Mum.