A skip in my step…..
Our recent holiday is not yet a distant memory. It was quite simply the best holiday I have ever had and I said as much to my husband. It was the best holiday I have ever had I think because it was so badly needed.
A significant portion of our lives are allocated to our responsibilities as carers – we do this lovingly and willingly and I’m not blowing our own trumpet in saying that we are, like many other carers, a hidden workforce. This hidden workforce provides care that is estimated as being valued at £119 billion per year – pretty staggering isn’t it. As a carer if you are lucky enough to qualify for carers allowance this works out at 35p per hour – that’s a pretty staggering figure too – how many people do you know who would feel valued at being paid 35p per hour?
Importantly carers aren’t just people fulfilling a really necessary role they are individuals with the same hopes and dreams everybody has. I think that if the government really want to help carers then they have to take account of the fact that they need to be asking not just how they can support people as carers but what can be done to support them as individuals whose choices are limited by their caring role.
So yes our holiday was vitally important and as respite services are severely limited for older adults our holiday was made possible by the help and support of two special ladies – Janette and Aileen.
Our Respite Angels
My sisters in law took it in turns to come and stay, ensuring that there mum got the care and support she needed and that we got a holiday. Without their support it quite simply would not have been possible. Thank you ladies.
The dictionary tells me that ‘respite’ is a short period of rest or relief and I can’t tell you how necessary that is. We all need respite from the stuff of life but I’ve never valued this more than when I became a carer – and that folks is probably why this was the best holiday I have ever had.
So thanks to our two ‘Respite Angels’ my husband and I got the holiday that we needed, we chilled and spent two weeks just doing what we wanted. Once again we had the joy of spontaneity in our days (something that doesn’t exist in the world of a carer) and we savoured every signal second of our break.
So our holiday hasn’t just given us happy memories of sunshine, it has also given us the physical and mental boost we need. We are back into our lives with a bit of a skip in our step. Now all I have to do is figure out how I can ensure that we keep skipping – any ideas?
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Jacqueline, Thank you so much. Your words brought tears to my eyes. You now know how easy it is for rme to come North. Roll on the nextime. Aileen xx
How I remember that time! The sponteneity of being able to do anything without answering to anyone was treasured when we went on holiday! Of course I have that now in bucket loads but it’s different now and not as much fun on my own!!
But what I would suggest is line up some local carers to come in for the occasional weekend. We found a brilliant caring service to look after my Dad – people he really enjoyed having around and who doted on him. Having breaks is vital as you need YOU TIME. Try for once a month!
Thanks Caroline and I can identify with your feeling of having all that time and it not being as much fun but I think we can all, for lots of reasons, get out of the habit of being spontaneous. I was very rubbish at it when I was a single parent.
Thanks for your suggestion. I understand that you know from experience that being a carer can be a bit of a juggle, we are certainly planning on aiming to get a better balance on things, because you’re right, it’s good for all of us.
Hey Jacqueline,
So glad to read you’ve had such a great time in Florida!
And that it helped you realise your life needs to be re-balanced in a way. Some suggestions which were given to us when our daughter was born were to have a night out together without the children at least once a month, a weekend away for every season, and one holiday sans children a year.
I wish we had followed this prescription actually…
x
Hello there Lady E thanks for popping by. The once a month thing is important – I guess we just have to take it on board and really try and make it happen.
Hey there,
Do you know, this carer business really gets to me. I’ve worked in the care sector for my whole life. I’ve always worked in challenging behaviour units, and as such service users come with highly paying ‘packages’. The number of people who have allocated care hours but never receive them never ceases to disgust me. Companies make vast amounts of money through not supporting their service users as social services have deemed appropriate. Service users living in a residential unit very, very rarely get their commissioned 1:1 care hours. And then there are people like you out there, who are caring 24/7. If CQC properly inspected all homes and made a note of the actual staffing levels, reported these to social services, and payments were made accordingly, there would be plenty of money in the pot to better support people like your good self. It’s all so wrong. The care industry is just that: an industry. Sad.
I’m really pleased to hear how your holiday has made you feel. Respite is so important. All the best to you, Rosie
Rosie, good to hear from you and your comment made interesting reading. I quite often blog about stuff like this because not only am I a carer but I’m also studying a health and social care degree – so I guess it’s a big part of my world. You are right about the ‘industry’ bit and there are lots of changes that need to be faced by people brave enough to admit that things need to improve. With an increasing ageing population this really has to start now. We live in hope.
Good for you ! I am the worst at recognizing when I need a time out. I always viewed it as selfish – not a positive thing. I hope you enjoyed the sand in your toes. Might I suggest a digital picture frame so you can be reminded of that lovely time all the time ?
Elizabeth, thank you for your comment. A digital picture frame sounds like a grand idea!
The many people who help us don’t ask for thanks but sure do appreciate it when it’s given fully and freely from the heart. You just did that. Bless your sweet heart!
Having people you can call on for help at any time in life is a huge blessing. Thank you for your lovely comment.
Hi Jacqueline, I’m delighted to know you had such a wonderful and well deserved holiday! All your words here have touched me as always! Blessings Tempie
Thanks Tempie, dare I say it but it’s good to be back.