All the single ladies…
Quite a few of the blogs I read are written by single ladies who have found themselves starting out again after what Caroline (a fellow blogger) accurately describes as ‘meltdown’. Now before you think that these blogs are likely to be a less than positive reflection of life think again. Many of these bloggers write from both their hearts and their heads. Their posts share their experiences in ways that identify some of their hurdles but importantly the solutions they have found to move on and, again as Caroline describes, ‘fly’. I only wish that when I was going through this I had been able to tap into such an emotionally savvy, honest and determined bunch of ladies.
I have colleagues and friends who have walked this road and, reflecting on this and my own experiences, this path eventually takes you to the crossroads where you might consider that dipping your toe into the water of relationships again is something you might be willing to do. Almost everyone I know who finds themselves in this position talks about how difficult it is to meet someone. I remember my own mother saying to me, “Look you’ve got a lot going for you, get out there and put yourself about a bit”. Of course I should point out that, bless her, what my mum meant was to go out there and socialise, mix with people.
Lets face it though if we’re honest getting back out there is easier said than done though.
I’ve had a couple of friends that have tried the internet dating thing – something I was never keen to do. I have however spent many an hour listening to their stories; conversations that would frequently end in either hysterical laughter or tears. Conversely I also have friends who met their future partners this way – so hey, anything is possible. So in this world of modern technology I can see where the internet can be a valuable tool to meet and connect with people.
With this in mind I just wanted to recount a funny conversation I had today. I happened to have coffee with a lady that (in her mind at least) took this whole technology/dating thing one step further.
Now this all came about when she was telling me about the Christmas present she bought for herself; a fancy phone that she has now loaded with an array of clever little apps. Some of you may be familiar with an app called Shazam which, if a song comes on the radio for example and you want to know who sang it you just tap this little app, the phone listens to the music and it matches it. Not only that but it finds the song on itunes for you and you can effortlessly add it to your music. Incredibly clever.
Anyhow what this lady was saying was wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a kind of Shazam like app for single ladies. She went on to explain her hilarious, but disappointing jaunt into the world of dating (which she is now sworn off as she’s in what she describes as her ‘apathetic phase’). She’s a pretty cool lady who has a good job and a fairly full life – the only things she says is missing is a relationship, which she desperately wants. “Wouldn’t it be wonderful”, she said, “if next time I’m at a party I could just tap my little Shazam-A-Man app and it would scan the room and tell me if there are any matches” Brilliant!

Unfortunately the downside is that if anyone else is using Shazam-A-Man then a queue is likely to gather.
Ok she was joking of course but I can see that it would be kind of nifty. So maybe it’s about time the technology caught up. Sure I talk to my phone and it will add my appointments to my calendar, my husband can book a holiday and the dates come winging their way over onto my schedule without me having to touch a button – but can it make the dinner? I rest my case.
So this smart lady in jest maybe has a point although even she acknowledged that there is probably no app in the world that can replace that ‘spark’ you feel when your certain person comes along.
Anyhow it’s Friday, the weekend is upon us, and so for the ladies out there who might be considering dipping their toe in the water I hope your Shazam-A-Man lights up like a Christmas tree:wink:














Just what I need and thank you for saying such lovely things about me!
Instead of shazam-a-manning I shall be stamping about on our local village hall stage in the 1st performance of the pantomime.
But wait a moment – could it scan the audience for me?????
Oh break a leg! I’m sure you’ll be fab.:wink:
What a funny idea. I’m clueless as to the world of “apps” so any app I hear about amazes me, let alone one so clever and cute that your friend imagined.
It must be hard being suddenly single and wanting not to be. When my husband left, I was fine with being single. As it worked out, my old flame came burning back into my life by chance and total surprise. We’re a certified couple now and have committed to each other forever. I never would have guessed it in a million years. I never had to deal with loneliness or the dating scene. Go figure…
I like talking to people who have the ability to see the world in funny ways – and this lady’s app idea just really tickled me. Having followed your story through your blog it’s lovely to know that life surprises us in nice ways. Clearly you and your old flame were meant to be.
I’m sure there must be a way of using a blog for someone to find the right man! Maybe there’s an initial application form, and then a series of tests, and then they have to do a guest post for you… an early test: if a man doesn’t appreciate your blog than he’s clearly not the right one.
I’m sure there must be folks out there who have met through blogging, I guess you never know the minute. Actually in many ways I was quite fortunate when I found myself coping with divorce I was also a single parent – so I never really felt like I was on my own. Now years later, having married my lovely man I’m pleased to say that the only thing I have the need to use my Shazam app for is finding music
It would be fab though if I could find an app that could cook dinner
Shazam-a-man app is a hilarious notion. I couldn’t imagine trying to ‘get myself back out there’ after 10 years, but I did. I am afraid I would be too picky now and too set in my ways to even make it possible. The trouble is, there is no Mr Perfect and if I found him I think even him being perfect would annoy me and I wouldn’t want him
. I like a bit of flawed, weird and challenged in my life otherwise, what else would I have to complain about? As a side note, Mr Here-And-Now has just delivered me an ice cream waffle cone for my study break, bless him. I wish the best to your friend and all your other readers moving on because I am so glad I did, there are some great people out there and in the absence of a Shazam-a-man app may I suggest having a mental note of what you will and won’t accept and go from there. I agree that spark or chemistry is undeniably irresistable but, it’s what else that follows that’s important. Now, the cooking dinner app – THAT I want! Great post
You are right of course, there IS no Mr Perfect, however your man bringing you ice cream on your study break has got to be up there
Since writing this post my creative brain has been working overtime thinking of all the apps that we could really do with – maybe I’ll sift through them (disposing of the ones that show me up for what I actually am) and share them in a future post
All contributions gratefully received……
I’m still chuckling about your mom’s comment. And I really would love to find a Shazam-a-Man app.
Hee, hee, thank you Pat – if my friend ever gets her idea for this dinky wee app going I’ll be sure to let you know
It seems to me that the best way to find that right man is to get involved in the sort of activity one likes the most in a social framework… it can be on the internet too… but I think this is better than looking for Mr. Right. On the other hand, many of us have fantasies that are impossible to find. One has to keep in mind that a relationship is always a lot of work. And when we don’t feel like working, it’s not a good time to go looking for a serious relationship. But it can be fun just to find someone who’s interesting… and may understand us.
You are so right!