Life begins at the end of your comfort zone….

As most of you will know my husband and I care for my 94-year-old mother in law who lives with us.  Yesterday at the day care centre she collapsed and was rushed to hospital. Firstly I should say that on the face of it the situation doesn’t seem serious – although that depends on whether you consider being rushed to hospital as serious or not. Apparently the root cause was a reaction to new medication recently prescribed.  However thankfully with the excellent and speedy care she received my mother in law sailed through the incident.  In actual fact, speaking with her in hospital last night, she doesn’t remember a thing.

Of course this kind of trauma impacts on everyone.  My husband, bless him, arrived promptly at the day care centre following the call to say that his mum had taken ill.  Peter arrived before the ambulance and was able to be on hand to care for his mum in his usual controlled and unflappable manner.  Peter’s an ex-policeman and let me tell you in a crisis he is a dream to have by your side.  Importantly his mum knows this and I have no doubt that his presence was invaluable.

Peter and I are pretty good at this caring lark.  We cope with most situations and as we’re fairly creative people we find ourselves able to adapt to ensure that things tick along just fine.  It just goes to show you though you never know the minute when all your priorities need to change.

It is this juggle that underpins what it’s like to be a carer.  Our job, in visiting the hospital last night, was to be a supportive force.  Of course on the face of it my mother in law was fine, but scratch the surface and you see an elderly lady who experienced a significant trauma.

Part of what you do as a carer is to try to keep everything as normal as possible – in all situations.  Both my husband and I are adept at going into ‘nothing is a problem mode’.   I breezed into the hospital last night with a bag full of ‘how to survive a stay in hospital’ gear for my mother in law.  Unpacking the bag, because her sight is very poor, I was relaying what I was taking out of the bag.  When I got to ‘hair-net’ she started laughing, “Oh I think I’m way past hair-net“, she said.

So it appears in this constantly changing life that Peter and I aren’t the only ones with the ability to keep everything as normal as possible – my mother in law it seem was more than capable of rising to this challenge too.

So here’s to adaptable people who have it firmly fixed in their head that they are going to meet life’s challenges with dignity and a pinch of humour – just not with their hair net on.