Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.

OK I’m a mature student. I’ve got my head screwed on and I’m a pretty resourceful lady – but there are some things in life that still baffle me.

• What exactly is the best thing before sliced bread?
• Why are bathrooms in petrol stations always locked?
• Why is there an expiration date on soured cream?
• When do 24 hour cafe’s start serving soup of the day?

These things ran through my head as I made my second attempt of the week to engage with social services. It seems that in my search for answers about how the ‘system’ is doing with our request for additional care for my mother in law I will probably answer the above LONG before I find out.

OK this one's easy - THIS is better than sliced bread

The thing is though I don’t really care when the 24 hour cafe serves soup of the day, or why bathrooms in petrol stations are locked but I do care about securing additional care for my mother in law and the fact that this system is, well not much of a system.

At the moment their tactic of choice is to give me the run around. I am passed from one person to the next. Nobody takes responsibility. I am helpfully advised that my concerns will be flagged up to their manager who will call me back. They never do.

So here I am again with my polite tone of voice and my thick skin, attempting to chip away at the system. What they don’t realise is that this carer is quite prepared to use the biggest pick axe she can find. I am, as they say, one determined lady.

Good Morning, may I speak to the manager please.

I’m determined on two counts. One, my mother in law needs and deserves additional care to make sure she’s safe and to maintain her independence. Secondly, and just as important, carers are not a renewable resource.

I know lots of carers who just give up because they lose faith. Fighting the system just becomes one extra thing for them to do. Many carers experience burn out and in truth sometimes, in this crazy system, carers struggle to identify what they need in place to make things better. Even if it were available.

I’m studying Health and Social Care. I know and understand the system both on paper and in reality. Yet I find it difficult.

On my desktop I have a page that I open before I call social services. This powerful reminder fuels me on and gives me the determination I need to keep going, to be polite yet firm. This is what it says….

• Unpaid carers save the government £119 billion per year.
• Between us Peter and I provide care that equates personally to a saving of £157,680 annually for the government.
• Stick with it girl – because we’re worth it!

So here’s to all the carers out there sticking with it. Changing their worlds, one phone call at a time.

Oh just had a call back from social services with AN APOLOGY that we’ve had such a long wait (6 months) and that our case is being allocated to a social worker who will contact us later this week, beginning of next. I love it when a plan comes together