Would you swap your kids?
OK in case you’re worried this is not the next instalment in my Mum’s Manual. I’ve never actually thought about swapping my kid. Well not swap exactly. I have on occasion encouraged him to go and spend the weekend with his father when I’ve been aware that if we don’t get a break from each other I might actually find out what a nervous breakdown feels like. That’s about as far as I’ve got. Of course you know the deal – as soon as he’s on the bus winging his way to his father’s house I start to miss him terribly and can’t wait for him to come home. The emotional roller coaster that is being a mum eh. This, I have recently found myself admitting, is in fact the only roller coaster I am now safe to ride. Real roller coasters and I don’t agree with each other as the following photograph shows. This is me and my son just after my last and absolutely FINAL roller coaster ride.
It's official I can no longer do the upside down bit and still look human. And yes he was holding me up!
So no I wouldn’t think about seriously swapping my kid but it seems that this swapping thing is catching on. Some families have been struggling with the cost of their kid going to university. As a solution to this – and also to provide kids with the stability of a home life – mum’s are ‘swapping’ their kids with other mum’s whose teenagers are going off to university. I think this is a fantastic idea. For one it cuts down the accommodation costs, with the teenager not paying rent, but maybe providing a contribution to food and house costs. In this economic climate it makes a lot of sense. It also allows kids to get the chance to effectively leave home to study in the university of their choice – particularly important as sometimes this is necessary in order to access their course of choice so staying at home to study frequently isn’t an option.
It used to be that when people went to university the lived at home. Then, in the 1980′s it all changed and young folk were living in mad houses like The Young Ones. There may have been an element of fun in this new found independence but it also resulted in communities of students, which had the power to change the mix of an area. There were of course the situations that developed about noise etc, etc. On the other hand if students are living in such a way that they are more integrated into the community does this not fit more with a model of real life?
So these mum’s who have hatched this wee plan certainly have my support. If my son chooses to head off to university then I’m all for swapping him with another needy student. Maybe I could have a girl – I’ve always wanted a daughter after all. It would certainly be all change. I wonder if I could cope with a teenage girl around the house, borrowing my straighteners and waltzing in at 1am.
Maybe it wouldn't be that different other than there would be more pink things around - a lot more!
Actually I think I might have to get back to you on this one. Back to the drawing board eh 
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I have three who are either at uni or about to go and think this is a really good idea. Do you know if there is some central organisation that acts as a hub where people can organise swop? PS daughters’ bedrooms are less smelly (don’t tell my son I said this…)
I have a son and can well imagine where you’re coming from on the bedroom front – what is that all about
There is an article about this on the BBC website and there are links to organisations involved in this. You’ll find it at the link below.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-16872455
Brilliant idea! My sister put off going to a university of her choice because she couldn’t stand the thought of living in dirty, smelly student digs. Probably because she had visited me too many times (I did live with four boys). This would be perfect for someone like her!
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. You were brave to live with 4 boys
What a great idea..Em is off to Uni in September and I must admit that from the Uni’s we visited the accomdation was a deciding factor…every face tells a story and in some places ‘us girls’ just had to look at each other to know what decision had been made. Girls are brill as house guests by the way…I don’t like to over-test a new friendship but your roller coaster picture made me laugh out loud..brave post! Jane x
It is such a tough time for them going off to Uni. I’ve heard some of the accommodation is awful. I hope Em gets things sorted out. Ah the roller coaster photo – would you believe the others are far worse. I’m pleased it made you laugh out load. Our friendship remains intact
Swapping college kids? Hmmmmmm. I have a kid I’d think seriously about swapping right now, but I know we’ll make it through. Daughters are often harder than sons! Angie
Talk about timing – I was just leaving a comment on your blog. Thanks for reading, actually I’m with you on the going through a tough time bit Angie but like you I know we’ll make it through. I guess both daughters and sons come with their own set of issues – more power to us mum’s eh! Thanks for stopping by and I appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. Hang in there
Oh, there were times when I’s had it up to “here,” but in the end (the end being he’s now nearly 26) I’m glad I kept him!
Funny picture of you and your son at the beginning.
You were brave to go on a roller coaster!
Think the kid swap is an excellent idea. I can’t believe the cost of sending them to uni now!
Well, I used to threaten to give my girls up for adoption when they were young teens.
I never really considered swapping them but then I hadn’t heard of swapping college kids in the way you describe here. Sounds like a win-win. I think you would enjoy a girl.
Wow, this kids swapping thing sounds like a great idea…
Now, reading you, I can sort of see into the future what is going to happen with my son. I love him dearly, but having him around all the time is exhausting. I really wish his dad would get more involved and have him around more often. I am finding things especially tough at the moment, managing a fledgling relationship without any significant breaks from my children. Mr Nice and I desperately need some time on our own, a chance to do things together, but it is a real struggle.
How did you manage that when you met Mr Hubby?
x
It is difficult but it is really important for you and your Mr Nice to get time together without the kids. I was fortunate in that my son went to his dads every second weekend. What we did was Peter and I would spent time together when my son was away and then when he was home we would do things together. That allowed us to get the balance. It was also really important for Peter to spend time with my son. That’s what worked for us. Stick in there
What a great idea. My almost-20 year old son has just returned to live at home. The share accommodation didn’t work out too well for him and he dropped out of Uni. After I left school, I went straight to Uni and I wonder how any of us survived in the places we lived in and the food( if you can call it that!) we ate. I love your reference to The Young Ones …very apt!
A great photo of you and your son…you are a brave woman Jacqueline. My last ride was on The Lethal Weapon about 10 years ago (Gold Coast, Movie World) and I swore never again!